the candy floss had too many ears

                         when I told you this you tried your hardest to remind me

that you were talking about cauliflower ears. I think there were

too many c’s, f’s and l’s

and I got confused. Looking at it I could have just have easily

                           heard cliff richard ate too many years

                                           but I would never start eating a cliff richard if I heard him mentioned, but I would a candy floss. and I was.

then one of its ears fell on to the floor. I whispered

                            to the candy floss that I was happy it fell off because I was too full and was sick of ears by now. You told me cauliflower can’t make you full

                            especially when its just in the shape of a body part you don’t

                                            tend to eat. kess ke say?

I don’t think the ear on the floor heard my glee, but then again

                             I whispered it in my head, but candy floss can read minds

                                           everybody knows that

I just hope it doesn’t have a big mouth to go with all its ears

If its mouth is at the bottom of the lumpy sugar mass, like mine

                             is at the bottom of my lumpy face, I definitely gave it enough

                             time to chat its shit before I ate that part of it. fucking grass.

why did you have to start telling me about cauliflower ears? especially when

                             you know my ears listen to background voices

                                              and not those in the foreground

if you would have spoken up or muted the motorway under the

bridge we were stood on I wouldn’t have

                             misheard you and risked my reputation eating

                                               candy floss

men don’t eat candy floss

if I’d have been american I wouldn’t have misheard candy floss because

                               over there they call it cotton candy. maybe I would have heard

                                                california or sommat else instead. california would have been a

cool place to eat for supper. not all of it though…I couldn’t stomach san diego in one sitting

but now here I am sucking the last half of the candy while you’ve stopped listening to me and two more ears have fallen off. very soon I will just have a

                                                 stick

and the road sweeper will just have a bag full of ears. I think out of the two of us

                                 the road sweeper could more easily build a living thing. but out of the two of us I could kill someone more easily with my plastic stick. my diet starts monday